Your wedding timeline is a significant part of the day, yet I realized that not a lot of planning resources actually explain the wedding timeline to couples; it just appears in the discourse at some point. Dangerously–ok that word that be a bit dramatic but I’m keeping it–if you’re having a fully DIY wedding with no coordinator or planner, you may not even have a timeline.
A timeline is the framework for the day; it keeps the ball rolling, everything and everyone orderly and where they’re supposed to be. It’s actually something I start discussing with my couples from the time they inquire. Now while there is a general pattern to every timeline, you do have complete control of customizing the day: first looks, controlled exits, special events, family portraits, receiving lines, etc. What’s important is working with solid wedding professionals who have the experience to give you healthy expectations of each aspect of the day.
Inevitably, at some point, you will fall off the timeline. Not everyone agrees with me on this, but I don’t put this as a big deal–if the worst thing that has happened is we’re 15 minutes behind, then the day is going fabulous! And yes, I say this being the person usually held the most responsible to get us back on schedule, because the first thing that gets snipped when we’re hunting for time is those precious minutes allocated for portraits.
5 Tips to stay on time
1. Pad the timeline. 5 minutes here, 10 there—I generally give a little extra time to small aspects of the day just so I know we have wiggle room, or walking time, etc.
2. Communicate anything you’re envisioning for the day. From gift exchanges, group prayers, surprises, to a little reel/tiktok you want to make, all of these take time and your vendors (especially photographers and videographers) need to factor it into their game plan for the day.
3. Big Wedding Party. This does not affect the gentleman so much (although if I’m honest, if there is some sort of pre-ceremony outfit catastrophe, it is almost always a groomsman), so I am looking at wedding parties with lots of bridesmaids. Bridal suites may be roomy, but if you have bridesmaids who want to change in a more private space, then we’re left with one bathroom and 6+ women needing to change. That 20 minute window expands rapidly. To avoid this, have only your mom and maid of honor help you get in your wedding gown, that way the rest of your girls can be getting dressed when you are (and you can do a first look with your wedding party!).
You could also skip the robe/pj shot and then each lady could get dressed when it’s getting close to time and they’re done with hair and makeup.
There’s honestly a lot of options in this situation, the key is to have a game plan and at least one person ensuring everyone is staying on track with getting dressed.
4. Family Photos! After getting ready, this is probably the biggest thing that will slow down your day, but there are PLENTY of things we can do to keep this as quick and painless as possible
If you’re doing a First Look, knock out all those immediate family photos! Odds are, your immediate family is already there and dressed, so let’s get those portraits done BEFORE the ceremony so afterwards it’s just a few large groupings and then it’s on to the party!
Second, make sure everyone you want in photos knows they’re needed for photos and where those are happening (it’s not always the ceremony spot!).
Put a person from each side of the family in charge of wrangling people. Also, have a list of groupings with people by name (they won’t answer to “Bride’s Aunt” but they will to “Kate!”)–Both of these reduce how much cat herding we have to do.
5. And lastly, do less. I always feel for couples who by the end of the night just want to hang out and enjoy it, but they’ve filled the day with so much that their free moments keep getting stopped. Plus if you think of your wedding day as a race with hurdles, the fewer hurdles you have to jump means the fewer things to trip you up and set you back in time, which means more fun and less stress.
